Monday, January 11, 2010

ILYG


Watched the last full show of I Love You Goodbye in Trinoma last night. Been wanting to watch this since the day it opened but the universe seemed to conspire against me. It was a blessing in disguise that we were able to watch it on it's last showing days because there was hardly anyone in the movie house. It was so empty that we sat one seat apart..super concentrate! It was virtually the giant screen, Gabby, Angelica, Derek and me!

I wasn't really expecting anything deep or mind-blowing, I just wanted to enjoy a good 'ol Star Cinema film and ofcourse bask in Gabby C.'s first movie come-back in 13 years. But come to think of it, the movie made me think...

Long after the movie was done, I still found myself thinking...if I were Angelica, who would I have chosen? Gabby, the one who loved her or Derek, the one whom she loved.

Fine, Derek was really the first but he became the ex who left her all of a sudden and broke her heart in a million pieces. And Gabby was the knight in shining armor who picked up those little pieces and put her heart back together again.

But for me the heart is like Humpty Dumpty. All the kings horses and all the kings men tried but failed to put Humpty together again.


So who will I choose?


The guy who I was willing to put my own dreams on-hold for because being with him is a dream in itself? The guy who made my heart sing no matter what the song was.. hirap, ginhawa, tears, laughter..as long as it was sung together. The same guy who just left to follow his dream without even caring that yours was being thrown out the window. The guy who just packed up and never said said goodbye. But still remains to be the guy who will always be your forever what-if and the one who got away..




As opposed to the guy who makes you dream new dreams and will do everything in his power to make it come true for you? The guy who doesn't dream of being the cause of your smile but is the one who dries your tears and makes sure that you will never cry again. The one who doesn't make your heart sing but is willing to sing any song you like. The guy who offers you forever knowing that you are still holding on to your past. The same guy who is beside you and assuring you that he will always stay.


Now that my thoughts are in black and white, it really seems like a no-brainer. Gabby is the sure winner. For me, a Derek will never make me completely happy until i have fully come into terms with the wounds of the past. And the only one who can do that is me.

Obviously, i still have no answer. Angelica's dilemma was resolved by nature. I don't know if that's lucky or not. Until then, I am in no rush to decide. I am not in that situation anyway. Hypothetically speaking though, I will just wait for my own Gabby and let my heart decide if he is worth forgetting my Derek.

Because in the end, the heart really has a mind of it's own.

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